i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
