I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
