So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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