New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize