she woke up with a sticky ear
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
