Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
