yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
