mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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