are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
