So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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