Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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