am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
