I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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