I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
