Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
