Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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