Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize