Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
