You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
