I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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