Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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