I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
