to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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