like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
