Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
