When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
