lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Text me some of your sweat
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
