maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
