I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
