This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
