Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
