Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
