CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
