I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
