Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
