You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
