Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
