apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
