He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize