I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
