Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize