i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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