He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i drank out of a bidet.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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