it wasn't lemon gatorade
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
