i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
