I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
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