trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sober January is a disaster.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
