my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
