If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
