Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need water and some morals
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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