Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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