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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.

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• (718): View more from New York

  i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite

  (917): View more from New York City

  get a pic

  (718): View more from New York

  i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that

  (917): View more from New York City

  i want ur life

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.

  Fav 13 3171 1407

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED

  (+04): View more from

  Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.

  Fav 8 1146 1465

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I have bits of ceiling fan all over now

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'

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• (518): View more from New York

  Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.

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