remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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