So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
