are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
