Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
