it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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