He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
MIDGETS
????
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
