His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
