I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
