We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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