so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Someone came in the potted fern
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
