Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize