Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
